Why Changing Your Mind Can Feel Unsafe for High Performers
I signed up for the Pikes Peak 30K this summer.
At the time, it sounded exciting. Challenging. Like something I wanted to train toward.
But lately, my body has been tired.
My blisters still hurt from recent races. The idea of another intense training cycle has started to feel heavier than exciting.
And the interesting part wasn’t the physical exhaustion.
It was the guilt I felt when I started considering downgrading to the 20K instead.
Immediately, my brain went to:
“You committed.”
“You already decided.”
“What do you mean you can just change your mind?”
That reaction fascinated me.
Because I see versions of this happen constantly with women law firm owners.
They continue operating businesses in ways that no longer fit their lives because at one point they decided that growth meant more.
More cases.
More employees.
More revenue.
More responsibility.
More pressure.
And somewhere along the way, reassessing the decision started feeling unsafe.
As if changing direction means you’re inconsistent instead of self-aware.
This is one of the core patterns I discuss inside the Identity OS Framework™, the way high performers unconsciously build identities around responsibility, pressure, and performance, then continue operating from those patterns long after they stop serving them.
Last weekend, I had another race scheduled.
My blisters were still healing, so instead of running it, I hiked the five miles with a friend.
No pressure.
No pushing.
No proving anything.
We moved at a brisk pace, spent hours outside, and caught up the entire time.
And honestly?
I enjoyed it more than grinding through another hard effort.
That realization hit me harder than expected.
So many high performers unconsciously believe life only “counts” when they are pushing.
That ease means laziness.
That enjoyment means lack of ambition.
That slowing down means falling behind.
But what if maturity actually looks like reassessing?
What if self-leadership means responding to your current reality instead of blindly obeying decisions made by a past version of yourself?
I’m still planning to train for now.
I may do the 20K.
I may decide not to race at all.
And for perhaps the first time in my life, I’m realizing that changing my mind doesn’t automatically mean I failed myself.
Sometimes it simply means I’m listening to myself.
The same is true in business.
You can build a successful law firm and still decide you no longer want to operate inside constant pressure, urgency, and grind.
You can still be ambitious without making your life feel heavy.
You are allowed to reassess.
You are allowed to evolve.
You are allowed to build both your business and your life in ways you actually enjoy living.
If you’re a women law firm owner starting to recognize similar patterns in the way you operate your business and your life, you can learn more about my private Leadership Diagnostic.
For those who prefer a lighter first step, I also offer a limited number of brief private exploratory conversations through my Contact page.
